So hold me in my anguish
by Blazeraptor54
Summary: A one shot, detailing Naruto's depression. He holds everything in, and when confronted by Sakura. he goes into the forest of death to train, and there he begins to loose control falling into darkness. Can a certain Green haired Jinchuuriki lead him out of it? Definitely, if she could only understand why he's hurting so much. Although Jiraiya has died.


_**So hold me in my anguish.**_

**One shot. **

It has to happen, death is only natural right? Well, they never said it was easy. Especially if your standing there, watching someone you called family getting sick, then later passing away. Uzumaki Naruto had to do such that.

He was a young lad, sixteen years and three months old. He never really was a virgin to death, in fact his main job was to take lives. Though in the end, it was people he knew, and very well deserved it. He was Shinobi, and that was his life style.

The blonde always told his Hokage, or Grandma as he liked to call her, to give him missions where the people were evil. He never had the guilt of killing someone innocent, nor did he ever want it. That was for sick people, with a sick messiah complex, and horrible souls.

"We commemorate Jiraiya's body to the ground, may his soul forever be with the gods." The monk said as he through the first pile of dirt onto the suspended coffin. Naruto looked on as it began to lower down, he had already cried. So with bloodshot eyes, he watched.

"So ends the funeral service, please if you are not family, I ask that you leave those who are to say their peace. Kannon bless you all, and may you be guided in her mercy." The monk stated, he watched as several of his team mates left. Including Sakura, whom gave her condolences.

Naruto stood there, with the wind being the only friend, watching coffin being lowered. He had a dead look inside of his eyes. Slowly he allowed one more tear to drop.

"_You'll be great one day Naruto, I truly believe that you are going to be the best Hokage to ever grace Konoha." _

"_Ne, thanks pervy sage!" _

"_I really wished you stop calling me that, but aw what the hell, it's fitting." _

"_Well, you admit it, you actually like my nickname!" _

"_Yeah...I guess I do, just don't say it around women."_

"_I can't promise that." _

He slowly started to walk away, no sooner than he was fully in the ground. Naruto swayed as he walked, he didn't care how he looked. The young blonde was torn apart inside, not even the Nine tails was daring today. In fact, it was silent.

The silence, though not common to the blonde, was the only beautiful thing at the moment. Because it gave him time, and time is what he needed the most. If he had say his one regret, it wasn't telling the man that he loved him more than just being his master. It was for being there.

Like family.

A grandfather.

A dear friend.

A mentor.

An actual teacher, though a pervert to women.

The ninja slowly rounded a small trail, leading out of the cemetery. He took one moment to look back, before fully walking out. It may has well took his heart with him, and in a way...it did.

**Naruto's apartment. A couple of days later**

Naruto walked into little humble abode, closing the door hard behind him. It wasn't intentional, but it was out of anger. He could've never seen the death coming, Jiraiya was strong. Why did it have to be him, and not someone else! Why not Sasuke?!

Hell, he was a traitor, he won what Naruto could never win. Sakura. Yet, no matter how much he kept pushing himself to be better. It always seemed that he'd never surpass the traitor he once called brother, and never would have love recuperated by her.

These were just one of the few nails in the coffin for his emotional state. He wasn't in turmoil, but just highly depressed. It was unusually a not so foreign feeling, since it was not the first time he felt this way. There was Haku, though a short friendship founded on similar belief...it was nice to see that there was someone good...innocent.

Then there was several others, and it all boiled inside of his sort volatile mind. He walked into his room, leaning against the all. He wondered if anyone like him was going through the same thing right now, he looked at the pictures setting up on his dresser.

One was of him, and a fellow Jinchuuriki. Her name was Fu, and they had met when he made a second trip to Takigakure, but from what he heard...she was out on a mission. He looked towards the picture of Jiraiya, and now like some of the others on the dresser...dead.

Yugito Ni, someone he met inside of Kumogakure had been taken by Akatsuki. He knew the fate she suffered, and it made him shudder everyday. What if they caught him, what would happen when he was sent to the execution chamber. The one they sent Gaara to.

Gaara had lived, albeit, at a sacrifice. He was stuck in a fog of thoughts, he knew that from Gaara, that the sealing must be in numerical order. So he was safe, for the moment. So was Fu, for even a short moment.

Basically, it came down to how long his kind could hold out. He sat down on his bed, before he slowly curled up in a ball. That's when a rapid knock came from his apartment door. He sighed, and got up. _"Naruto, are you there, it's me Fu!" _

Naruto quickened his walk, easily getting to his door within a few seconds. He looked at eye hole, and there stood the mint haired tomboy. She had a black mourning dress on, had she been to the grave? He opened the door, and looked at her. She noticed the dead look in her eyes.

"Naruto, you look...horrible." She said, looking at the blonde in front of her. She was right, tear stains, red bloodshot eyes, and messed up hair. He was depressed, and he didn't say anything at the comment. Usually he'd be ready to defend the way he looked.

"Do you want to come in...?" He asked, dead like. She nodded, he moved aside so he close the door when she came in. The girl looked around, the last time she was here it had been a mess. So it looked like he'd been cleaning for a little bit, but more than likely it was a week ago. Before Jiraiya's death.

She took off the coat she had been wearing, it was cool outside, and raining. She sat it on a chair, before sitting down. Naruto sat down across from her, and looked at her. "So...when did you get here?" She sighed, before answering.

"A hour ago, I heard what happened, and came here to see you. Ya know, make sure if you're okay?" She reasoned, Naruto looked at her though. She could have sworn he was glaring, but she knew she didn't do anything. He was just angry.

"Well, I'm okay, though...I'll just be out of it for a few days." Naruto sighed out, she looked at his eyes. They were hollow like, lacking the life filled joy they held. She then nodded, before saying "I understand how you feel."

"I know you do, I was there when your mother died. You got over it...so I can get over this." Naruto said, but Fu shook her head.

"Naruto, you can't shut off from everyone, especially right now." She replied, Naruto sighed.

"Look I am not going shut myself off, I'm just wanting some silence. You know to think." She nodded, agreeing with part of it.

"Naruto, sometimes silence is worse than letting it go." Naruto just shook his head, was she really doing this right now?!

"I'm not hurting as much as you think I am Fu, I'm just tired. I've not been able to sleep in the last few days." Fu listened, but she knew the anger under the voice.

"Naruto...am I annoying you?" She asked, the blonde didn't respond to the question.

Fu decided to get up, she'd come here to check on him, and she had accidentally made him angry. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to know if you are okay, I'll be in the village for a few weeks. So if you ever need to talk, I'm here...and Naruto." He looked at her.

"I know you are hurting more than you are letting on."

She got up, walking out of the apartment, Naruto heard the door gently close. No sooner then it did, he flipped the table over. Kicking it, he was so angry right now! Who in the hell, or what in the hell gave her the idea to come here now!

He was hurting yes, but he wasn't hurting so bad. He wasn't depressed enough to take his life, he didn't feel like talking to people because that was his choice. Hell, him being home for a couple of days may have been unusual, but the goddamn nerve of her!

He balled his fists up, glaring into his reflection. He only more angrier at one person himself.

**Several days later, Lower slums of Konoha. **

He had came here, lived here once actually. The slums, or the lower quarter as it was called. He looked at the shady figures around him, it was still raining! So he could hear people step all around him, last time he was here was when he was beaten up.

So that's how he came to own the apartment he had in the upper slums, where police were around, rather than down here. Where even Ninja had to tread lightly. "Hey, look isn't that him?" A man called out, looking at Naruto's direction.

Naruto slowly walked into a bar there. He had came here to meet an old friend, "Hey Nazoka." He said to the barmaid. A slightly older woman, who had brown hair, and with a set of brown eyes. She looked at the young man in front of her.

"So, the hero of the slums returns, what brings you here." Naruto went to answer, "and I know about Jiraiya-san." Naruto stopped, but then looked down.

"I just want to see if I can get a drink..." Naruto answered, Nazoka looked at him.

"You came all the way from the upper end, for a drink? Here?" Naruto nodded at her questioned.

"Yeah...because, even out of everyone. I only trust you if I drink, you know...since the last time before I left on my training trip." Naruto replied.

"Oh I remember, you got dumb ass drunk, not just drunk. I mean seriously, you better be glad you can't get poisoned by alcohol...otherwise you'd probably been ground before anyone else." Naruto slightly glared at her.

"S-sorry, but why now?" She asked, and he looked at her.

"I just want the next few days to go by in a blur." He stated.

She nodded, getting a sake bottle out, and poured it into a saucer. He took the warm liquid to his lips, and drunk it down. Nazoka, poured him another one before asking him a question. She knew all the better, the truth always poured from the mouth drunks.

"Naruto, do you still speak the Nine tails?" He took another drink, before replying.

"Yeah...though he's been an asshole lately...not talking to me." She nodded, before pouring him another drink.

"Has anyone came over to comfort you?" She asked, Naruto just sighed.

"Nazoka...listen, you are like a sister to me..." She laughed slightly, cutting him off.

"I'm not propositioning you, besides you're my little brother still...so it'd be weird." Naruto nodded, drinking another saucer.

"So, has Sakura talked to you any? You know, after the funeral." He shook his head in response.

"No she's mad, because I am not training at the moment. Saying it'll help me get over Jiraiya's death, but I know what she wants...she wants me to be ready for a fight with Sasuke." He explained, but then he heard the bottle slam down.

"I don't understand Naruto, for all the love you have, you waste it on her. You could've of had Hinata, she liked you, granted the idea of you but you! You waste it on the pink haired bimbo who thinks she's your master. She's constantly beating you down Naruto, why do you let it happen?" Nazoka slightly exploded with anger. Naruto sat in silence, she was slightly right, he was being used.

"Nazoka, I let Kiba have Hinata, they're perfect for each other. Hinata loved the idea of me, and never gave anyone else a chance. It doesn't sit well with me, ya know." Naruto explained, but Nazoka looked at him with a sad expression.

"Naruto, how many people gave you chances inside the realm of love?" Naruto shrugged, he didn't really know. Maybe a few, but he felt no real attraction towards them, save his perverted part of the mind.

"A few, but I never felt anything towards, and I'm not about to have sex with someone...and not care." Naruto drew a breath saying the last one, he had to admit. He wondered if he was the last virgin among his group. Save Sakura, or Ino. He knew Ino was, because her father would kill her. She was allowed to be spoiled, she was allowed to be rotten, but premarital sex...no no.

Sakura was waiting for Sasuke-teme, she always had been. Naruto, for lack of better judgment knew Hinata was also one. She was too sweet, and he threatened Kiba to not try anything funny. Lest the dog be missing his "other friend" besides Akamaru.

There was the fact that he had even chances to mate with a priestess. Shion, yeah he could've mated with her. Though, like before he felt nothing towards her. "Naruto, are sitting back, and actually thinking about all the women you had chances with?" Naruto just sat up straight, taking another drink.

"Nope, .all. Besides, even if I was, it would not matter." She just rolled her eyes at the blonde, typical depressed Naruto. She poured him another drink, she liked him better when he was a happy drunk. Which was rare, granted he didn't really drink much. Let alone binge.

So after a few more saucers, she finally asked another question. "Are you going to be okay?" Naruto looked at her, unlike before with Fu, he actually didn't stay silent.

"I honestly don't know Nazoka, I really really don't know. The pervert was family, just like you, I tried everything I could. Even giving him some of the Nine tails chakra...it didn't work." Naruto mused.

"You still didn't answer my question fully Naruto, please I love you little brother, don't dodge around it." Naruto met her eyes, and sighed.

"I really don't feel like going on anymore, I know you're happy, you got a boyfriend and everything. So I know you'd be okay, and I'm just lost. The man wasn't just a master to me, he was like a grandfather. If I dared asked to get a blood test, who knows. I'd probably been right." Naruto answered, Nazoka nodded.

He took several more drinks, and Nazoka had to crack open another bottle. "So, Naruto are you drunk yet?" The blonde nodded, he was seeing two of Nazoka now, minus the one in the middle. He gave a husky breath as he got up, wobbling slightly. Nazoka noticed the time, and she got up.

"Last call!" She yelled, the other bar patrons had already left. So, without further adieu, she wrapped Naruto's arm around her. Slowly beginning to walk him out of the establishment. She knew better than to let him wonder drunk, which almost ended with the Hokage mountains being covered totally in oil.

He sure had a funny way of getting the supplies he needed to take on such a venture, albeit let alone drunk. I mean he was technically a soldier, so if he wanted a drink he could have one. Hell, his sensei, Kakashi came in here several times to drink. Always either ogling her, which she never told Naruto because he was protective, and always talking about someone named Obito.

She really held the dirty little secrets to Naruto, and Kakashi of team seven. In her honest opinion, Naruto didn't loose the fight in the final valley, he won everything.

He won the right to be called a man.

He earned the right to his willpower's bragging.

He even should have earned Sakura's heart, he nearly died to save that pathetic bastard.

He even won the respect of the people, save some of the Pro Uchiha nobles.

Naruto was a fighter, and he never quit, never.

**Several hours later, the next morning.**

Naruto woke up from a drunken haze, he looked around. Wanting to get a sense of where he was, he noticed that he was inside his apartment. Good O' sister had kept him safe once again. He got up, and looked around. Nothing in sight as of right now. So without wasting time he got up, he noticed his broken table. Sighing, he started picking up the pieces, he remembered that he broke after talking to Fu yesterday.

He really needed to get a hold of himself, so without wasting time he threw away the trash, and went out his door. Making sure to lock it, no sooner then he felt the lock click. He heard someone familiar say "Hey Naruto." He looked to see Sakura, who was dressed in her normal gear.

"What do you want today Sakura-chan." He said, albeit not with the usual enthusiasm.

"Well Naruto, Kakashi is sick today, so I wanted to know if you'd like train." She answered, Naruto just looked at her.

"Not today Sakura, I'm a little tired right now, maybe some other time." He answered back.

She wasn't taking that for answer, no sooner than Naruto try to get past her. He was stopped, Sakura's palm on his chest. "Why aren't wanting to train Naruto, it'll help you get over his death." She reasoned, and he certainly agreed. He just didn't want to train with her!

"I know Sakura, I just don't want to train with you today, I need to do some of my own training...alone." She glared at him, how dare he!

"Look, aren't we a team, come on. It's not like you can't work done by yourself." And, there it was "Team" that four lettered word filled contempt inside of Naruto's heart.

"

"Sakura-chan, please get your hand off my chest. Now." He ordered softly, trying to keep his anger in check. He wasn't really having hang over, but he was having a headache. She pushed him, rather hard actually, and he hit his door.

"You've been drinking haven't you! Naruto how come you are so irresponsible!" She screeched, and Naruto finally had enough. He got back out his keys, and started to open his door again. The next thing he knew, something whizzed by his head.

"You know he wouldn't want this right, you drinking your sorrows away. Hell, we need to get training, cause we're supposed to be the ones to take down Sasuke. Your not going to be much help in a fight. You got lucky I didn't hit you in the head with that...bottle." She shuddered when she felt something of malice wash over her.

"Help? Are saying that I'd just be help?" He asked, although it was cold in nature.

"Yes, Kakashi-sensei needs someone to keep up the light attacks, while me, and him deliver the heavy attacks. It's what you are good for, a shield, and us the blade. Remember." She barked, only to see Naruto slam his door shut. And, he didn't go into the house.

"You know what, you're right, I am the the shield." He said, feigning laughter.

Sakura nodded,thinking she got through only to see Naruto's eyes flash red. "You know what I am also right, I am berserk, I don't give a damn about a sword. Because, here is the thing Sakura, the all so powerful sword of team seven. I actually can hold my own with Sasuke, you on the other hand can't even hold your own still with Kabuto-teme someone I defeated when I was kid!"

"What, but he got stronger Naruto, I doubt you could accomplish the same feat, besides I took down a Akatsuki member with Chiyo, you've yet to take down a single member." Naruto just shook his head.

"Are you so sure about that? I mean really sure about that? Because, just because you may THINK that I have not taken any Akatsuki down, you'd be very wrong. I took down the clay bomber guy from Iwa. Trust me that one was tricky, because he could fly. Now I got a question Sakura, CAN you FLY?" She shook her head.

"Neither can I, so I had help, Fu. Trust me, when I say this proudly. If I had a choice who'd been on my team years ago. You would now be off of it, I can't take your stupid nonsense about Sasuke Sakura. I'm tired of it, I've grown sick of it. Everything I do seems like I'm falling behind, it's because I have to SLOW myself for you to catch up!"

"That's not true Naruto, you'd need a healer on your team. You couldn't even heal yourself after the battle with Orochimaru, one you which nearly got killed in." he started laughing, "What's so funny?"

"I have a healer on my team Sakura, and you know what it's certainly not you. Oh no, certainly not you. It's actually the Nine tails, he's been healing me all of my life. Now don't get me wrong, were not buddy-buddy. Though we share a common fate." She glared at him, before asking "What's that?"

"If he dies I die, or I die...he does as well. It's bond component of my seal, basically he have to be willingly set free for me to die and not him. So, before you ever say the team is down to a three man act. Don't forget I got a fourth member inside of me!" Naruto raged.

"He's a demon Naruto, he doesn't count, why so much love for the Nine tails anyway. He almost killed me remember!" Naruto just shook his head.

"Yeah, because you were dumb enough to step into a battle which you should have known you'd not have a place in." She recoiled slightly from the vocal jab, and looked at him.

"So what are you saying, that you are better than me?!" She yelled her question.

Naruto just stood there in silence, whenever he got this way. She knew that he was dead serious for his next choice of words, and it came with something to shatter her heart. "I am saying I'm better than you, in fact...I'm saying if you think yourself better than me Sakura. Why don't you train very hard, why don't meet me in a week from now, and if you win. I go back to be good little Naruto, and always your little kiss ass. Until then." He brushed past, his eyes slitted red.

"I have work to do."

**Training ground seventy four, Jonin part of the forest of death.**

**[Ona hei, from Shogun 2]**

Naruto had put out the call, shouting it out. He spoke in the language the Nine tails taught him to spoke in, a unique all signal call to all animal types. He was wanting a challenger, someone to duel him for dominance inside the forest of death.

He made the call, and very animals had gathered around. Some bears, a tiger, and a giant snake. If he knew better, they were just watching, waiting for any one of the other to get brave. Naruto stood there in his initial Jinchuuriki state, something that made him look very feral.

A rumble in the forest gave him his challenger, a Giant Spider. If he known better from Shino, the largest ones were always female. He stood there, the giant snake even backed off slightly. It had it's two front legs up, Naruto could see the blade like appendages on it. He didn't care, he was certainly not scared.

Besides, he was going to need this training ground for something later, something private. So he needed to win it. Now.

He stood there growling, _**"It comes kit"**_Naruto stood ready, no sooner than the Nine tails said it was coming. The giant spider charged, Naruto used his hidden kunai mechanism to quickly pull two long kunai from his sleeve.

The blonde flipped backwards, avoiding a nasty stab meant for him by the spider, he managed to block the other talon on the spider's leg with his kunai. He had made a single rule, no shadow clones. By the gods, he was going to stick to it!

Naruto quickly rolled backwards as the spider brought it's two legs up, smashing them into the ground by the blonde. It started sweeping them towards him, he jumped into the air. Quickly blasting a chakra wave from the front of his body to send him to a tree.

**[Tsunami Shogun 2]**

The young ninja quickly put the kunai back, and instead getting out two demon wheel shuriken. He extended the four corner blades out, but instead of throwing them, he held them. The spider charged forward, using other trees to make the the ascension to Naruto.

It's two front legs shot forward, attempting to stab the blonde through. The blonde used one demon mill to block one, and the other as he dodged it to cut the left front leg off. The spider screamed in a rage, flaying the last front leg about.

He dodged several of it's strikes, and jumped from the tree. He sailed forward, over the spider's body. He launched both shuriken, applying chakra as he did. They cut through the spider, blood started spilling onto the forest floor.

The giant fell from the tree, and roared out. Naruto clapped both hands together, focusing chakra. He started to form his signature attack, he kept focusing hard. Moving the ball of energy to his right hand. He descended, shooting the air as fast as possible.

The spider roared as he saw the ball of light in Naruto's hands, it could do nothing as the blonde slammed the ball into it's massive being. All the while shouting, **"Super Rasangan!" **The ball of light expanded out, consuming the mid torso of the spider blowing it off.

Naruto landed on the ground, his feet splashed inside the spider's blood.

**[Remember the pain, Sonic Librarian]**

The blonde gave a beast like roar as red chakra bubbles started to form around him. One tail extended out, "Aska namatei (Come fight me!)!" He called out, inside the unknown language. The Nine tails taught him it, saying it was universal language.

He watched as the bears charged at him, He didn't use his chakra arms. Instead he grabbed the paws of the first two bears to charge at him. They were driven by the same thing the blonde was driven by right now, a blood rage.

The blonde started seeing red glow around his vision, he pulled down with the two bear paws, making them slam into the mud and blood. The one other bear, a large grizzly, charged at him. He charged at it as well, tackling it to the ground. The bear bit into the chakra shroud, making the blonde bleed slightly.

Naruto slammed his fists into the bear's head. Making it go unconscious. He turned to the two others, holding his shoulder. They started to move back when the snake launched itself at the blonde, but unlike this time. The blonde used his chakra hands to grab the snake, and throwing onto the body of the spider.

He jumped backwards as a pack of wolves, led by one large black wolf charged at him. He landed on the tree he used before, this time forming a red Rasangan, before jumping into the air. The snake came out from under him, mouth opened.

Naruto descended into the beast's maw, shouting **"Vermilion Rasangan!" **all the while, the beast's eyes opened wide as Naruto blasted his way out of the beast's back. Blood flew around as he did, Naruto started getting attacked by the pack of wolves, several breaking through the chakra shroud. Managing to bite his arms.

It had became an all out war against the deadliest beast's in the forest. He wanted this, he needed this! He loved the idea of him being alpha, he wanted to be alpha. Though like with the bears, he choice just to knock out the wolves. Since they still were his favorite animals. He just hates snakes, and spiders.

The lead wolf charged at Naruto, it's maw open. Naruto gave it a huge kick, all the while roaring. He was winning this open warfare for dominance. The tiger however, chose this moment to strike. The blonde rolled forward as he felt it pounce on top of him.

He sent his elbow into the beast, which made it get off of him. Naruto deactivated the cloak around him, instead channeling it to healing the wounds around him. He got on all fours, and like with the giant cat. They circled each other, the cat was the size of a small vendor shop. So Naruto had to be cautious, unlike with the bears. This thing was made up almost of all muscle.

They charged at each other, fur, and blood flew as one clawed at another. "Come on you big fucking cat, kill me!" Naruto shouted, he was in a blood rage. The cat gave him a nasty slice as it clawed into his chest. Only for it to heal, Naruto spat up some blood. Cocking his fist back, and sending it into the beast's face.

It was it's turn to show visible bleeding, after all it's nose had just been splattered across it's face. "Come on, fi**ght me!" **The blonde's word came out deeper than usual, and echoed slightly. He tore off his torn shirt. Focusing to bring out more chakra.

"_**Kit, you need to stop this, you're bleeding internally!" **_

"_Fuck off fox, I don't want your input!" _

"_**Kit...please, I'm having trouble healing it if you constantly redirect my chakra to your battle." **_

"_Then I'll bleed out later, you can heal me then." _

"_**Naruto..."**_

"_Just do what you fucking can!" _

Naruto's feral side started to show more, and more. He growled instead of speaking now, and once again started a death circle with the tiger. One feigned their movement every so often. It seemed to be for eternity, but finally the tiger charged first.

Naruto rolled with it on the ground, pushing it's maw down. Revealing it's large neck, he brought his clawed hand onto it. Squeezing. The beast easily threw him off however, it's most front talon catching Naruto's skin on his arm. Tearing a good size cut into his arm.

**[The purifier Two steps from hell]**

Naruto spat up some blood, and vaulted over the beast it charged over him. **"You call yourself king of the beasts here, fuck you!" **Naruto shouted, watching the beast smash into a tree from it's missed charge. He flipped backwards, he watched as the the colossal cat got up. He flipped around to meet him fact-to-face once more.

They charged at each other once more, Naruto brought his knee up. The brought it's paws up. Naruto managed to grab both of them, and sent a cocked kick into the beast's temple. It sent it back slightly, swaying as it did.

Naruto slowly stood up, he could feel the pain now. He was coming close to the win, and he would win this side of the forest for himself. **"Come on!" **The cat growled out, and charged again. Naruto grabbed it as it jumped towards, sending him backwards.

The smashed into several small trees, taking them down as it tried to thrash Naruto off of him. It managed to finally succeed, albeit, smashing itself into a tree. The blonde came off hard, and slammed into the tree by the one the beast smashed into you.

He slowly got up, they both were heavily injured. Naruto, and the beast roared at each other, and started to slowly circle each other once more. When it lunged, Naruto moved to the side, allowing the beast to hit it's head on a train. Stunning it. Just enough time for Naruto to form a ball of energy in his hands.

"**Rasangan!" **He shouted, the beast roared out in pain as the ball dug into it's skin. It was sent spiraling backwards as it did roar out. Finally being stopped by one of the large trees in the forest, it shook though, causing a noticeable amount of birds to come out of their roosts.

Naruto fell to one knee, but gave a roar of victory. He saw several of the wolves that gave up fighting him earlier just slowly back away. Even some of the snakes that were hiding slowly backed away, they knew well he was gearing for another go with their kind.

"**Is th**ere anyone else!" He shouted, "Anything else!" His voice returning to a human like one, he coughed up a massive amount of blood. Though he stood up, spitting it on the ground. The wounds on his body started sizzling, trying to heal itself.

**[silence]**

"_**Kit your heavily injured, but I've stopped the internal bleeding." **_

"_I don't care...I want more!" _

"_**Naruto, you're going to need to calm down, this is why I'm dissuading my chakra from your use. It drives you to do this blood rage." **_

"_It feels so good though, come on another rush, I need another rush. I can feel them wanting to charge!" _

"_**Enough, Naruto look at yourself...your falling into the darkness due to the blood rage." **_

"_Then why couldn't you stop me, oh wait better yet why not heal Jiraiya!" _

"_**Kit, his chakra system rejected my chakra, I told you this!" **_

"_It doesn't matter, he could've lived damn it!" _

"_**Kit, he couldn't you knew well better enough, Naruto please just stop." **_

"_Or, what?" _

"_**Or you'll become like Madara Uchiha, look at yourself. You spilled enough blood today." **_

"_I don't care...besides the only things I killed so far a snake, and giant ass spider." _

"_**Also heavily wounding a bear, wolves, and a giant tiger." **_

"_I know that idiot, just...oh...this hurts."_

Naruto collapsed down on both knees, the adrenaline rush gone. He started growling out in pain, but slowly all the wounds had healed, he was covered in blood. Though he knew that he had won dominance, if he could just let go like this with Sasuke...he'd win.

Just then he heard of rustle of bushes behind him. "N-Naruto?!" He heard yelled out, he looked to see Fu. Who had shock written on her face, he looked at her. She had a fearful look in her eye, when she noticed the ocean blues though, she calmed down.

"Hey F-Fu, what bri-aaahhh-ngs you out here?" Naruto said trying to stand up, but as he did. He fell forward, Fu rushed to catch him, but when she did. She fell with him. He had passed out, "Damn it Naruto, you are covered in blood!"

**Several hours later.**

Fu had managed to drag Naruto to a river part of the forest death, she was covered in grime. Though she had made sure to get Naruto out of there, she was unaware that he'd been fine staying there. Since he now, technically ruled the very forest that they were in.

"N-ne, Fu-chan, where am I. Why are you dragging me?" He asked, confused.

"You stupid fool, you could have died. Chomei, and I have been worried sick when felt the release of the Nine tails chakra. We thought you went overboard. Looks like we were right." She said, Naruto just shook his head.

She slowed down, before gently putting him against a rock. "You know, I'd been fine...I actually challenged animals to fight me." She looked at him, before looking for any hint of lie. She saw none, "what do you mean?"

"I wanted to see what would happen if I went all out, no hold bars. No shadow clones, no restraint. I kicked ass, and got my ass kicked a little bit." He explained, and Fu looked solemnly at him.

"Naruto, you could have died?" She said, though her tone hinted sadness.

"I know, but it's dawned on me about something, the only way I'm ever going to win against Sasuke is too go all out. I'm no longer aiming to bring him back alive...let alone in one piece." He stated, though it was bitter with the tone of pain.

"I, listen Naruto...you need to stop this. Just let it go, you need to just let it go. Hell forget about Sasuke, forget what Sakura might have said. Just look at yourself..." She slightly pleaded.

"I don't care about either of them, all I was a tool to them. You know that." He said, looking down.

"Maybe...that's what's I'm running away from. Besides Jiraiya and Nazoka-chan, I am a tool to everyone." A loud resounding slap filled the forest. Naruto brought his hand to his face, Fu looked very angry. She had her hand where she left it after slapping him.

"You stupid asshole, I care about you damn it. You're my best friend, I'd never use you as a tool! Is that why you are sad, because you feel like you'll just go back to being a little tool for Kakashi-teme, and Sakure-teme. Is that why you are avoiding them, is that it!?" She screamed the last part, Naruto looked at her while rubbing his cheek.

"I actually punched her when I saw you leave your apartment. Remember you brushed past me, angry. I told her she was a bitch, on how much like dirt she treated you! Damn it Naruto...I care about you. So stop doing this to yourself!" She started begging.

"All you have ever done is done for others. Have you ever done something for yourself besides cry, and cry! Hell, have you ever been held when you cried, I can say that I have! You held me, the only one that has besides my mother when I cried!" She screamed, Naruto looked down.

"Fu...please stop."

"No goddamn it, I'm not going to stop for shit!"

"I'm begging you...please stop, I don't want to hear this."

"Then answer me, is that why you feel so down right now. Because, you know besides Nazoka, you think there is no one else there for you?!"

"I..."

"If that's the case, then you are mistaken, if that's the case you are fool."

"I'm not a fool...please stop."

"I am not going to, you are just going to listen to me. Have you ever been held when you cried?"

"I don't want to answer that."

"Just tell me, you're crying right now...not on the outside but on inside!"

"I...not..."

"Not since when?"

"Not since I was kid...and I had just stopped several bullies from hurting Nazoka-chan. She held me because I got beat up, and that's the only time I've ever been held by someone! Okay, never once have I been held while crying at any other time!"

Fu stayed silent as he started to rage. "I hate it you know, I am always there. Breaking my back, doing most of the dirty work. Then I get called the shield, while they themselves a sword. I hate it, I hate them, I hate this fucking life!"

"I hate the fact I gave a damn to people who didn't deserve it, I hate the fact I saved this world several times. Not one goddamn person has ever officially thanked me for that, I am always pushing myself. I want to see Sasuke come back, because I want to beat the shit out of him when he gets interrogated. I want to stab him in the fucking lung, and let him know how much it hurt that day! How much it hurt to feel a brother's hand wriggling inside of your chest. Pulling out to cause you to bleed!"

She sat there, starting to wrap her hands around him. She was holding him, he didn't notice as he continued. "I saw too many good people get the shit end of the deal, so I kept working hard. Trying to make at least one of my kind out to be known. Instead I'm overshadowed. Beat down, tormented by the fact I failed to save someone else from falling into the darkness, I am tormented to know that my days are numbered shorter than everyone else in this world besides you!"

She knew what he was talking about, Akatsuki. "I don't want you to be hurt, I don't want anyone to be hurt anymore. I just want it to be over, maybe if I had enough balls I'd just take a fucking kunai, and delay them a few dozen years or so!" He stopped, starting to sob.

"All these deaths, relatated to Akatsuki, your mother. It's because I couldn't do myself in as a kid, if they knew I killed myself, then I'd set you all free for a few dozen years. They'd all die out, maybe the Akatsuki would as well!" Fu rocked him back, and forth. Shushing him slightly.

"Worst of all, it was because of the poison that Jiraiya received...I failed. I failed to protect him, like he protected me, a damn Akatsuki spy outsmarted him. He died because me Fu, only Ba-chan knows this besides me." Fu kept holding him, and he finally sobbed in her arms.

She moved herself to sit by him, holding him close. He was in anguish, filled with guilt. So much guilt, and she finally whispered. _"It's not your fault...if people decide to be evil." _Naruto stopped for a moment, realizing he was being held. It was indeed a foreign feeling being held.

"_It's not your fault if you are being led astray, being used...and you should never be used. Because, Naruto of the Uzumaki. You are THEE one to win in the end, you are sweet, kind heart-ted. If Sakura, or any other girl can't even stand to bless you for that, they don't deserve their happiness." _Fu felt Naruto squirm slightly.

"_And, if you think I'm going to let you go right now. You can gladly get used to this, because when you cry I'll be there to hold you. Because, you held onto me when I was in anguish. You stayed with me, doing the same thing I was doing right now." _She continued to whisper.

"Why? Why do you care so much, I just did one thing kind for you."

"_I care because I like you...a lot, just calm down. Please take a look back at yourself, and look at what you are becoming." _

Naruto started to lightly sob again, but this time reciprocated the hold that Fu had on him.

**One week later, training ground seven. **

Naruto, stood there waiting. He was waiting for Sakura, he had his stern look ready to go. He looked behind him to see Fu, she was looking at him with concern. Was he going to indulge Sakura on her challenge?

The pink haired woman dropped from the trees in front of him. "Ready to go?!" She yelled out, Naruto just stood there. Saying nothing, but when she charged he disappeared. Fu was mildly stunned herself at his speed, had his training inside the forest paid off so well?

She had left him, when he assured her that he'd be okay. Now he came out of the forest, scratched and bruised though he looked ready to go. Sakura looked around, looking for him. She then felt the wind howl, and when she realized what was going on it was way too late to react.

She got blown back by a massive gust of wind, revealing that Naruto was inside of a tree. "If I was Sasuke, you'd been dead...oh mighty 'sword' of team seven." He said cold like, Sakura got up, looking right at him glaring.

"Oh, so now you dare even punch me."

"I haven't laid a finger on you Sakura, I ask that you stifle your rage. Before..." He closed his eyes, and snapped them open to reveal his feral ones. "I stifle it for you."

"Oh that's it!"

She charged, launching herself into the air, Naruto did not move. Instead he caught her fist as she brought it down, stunning her. The tree below him shattered, and he lightly let go of her fist. "I'm not looking to fight you, but if you think you are going to get a reaction out of me you are wrong." She glared, launching another fist at him.

He caught it, another came by, and that one was caught too. He simply walked off the now impaled ground branch, and kept pushing her back. "I'm stronger than you Sakura-teme, always have been. I was blind to the fact you used me as a tool, all for that bastard Sasuke. You have one more chance to stifle the rage you have no right having." She spat in his face, which made Naruto shake his head.

He brought his foot up, placing it on her chest, "goodbye." He slammed it forward, making her careen backwards, and slam into a tree. He watched as she got up, "those were the same words Sasuke used on me as he impaled me in the chest Sakura. If I was him, you'd been dead."

"Shut up!" She shouted, charging at him, Naruto once again caught her fist. This time the ground lightly sunk beneath them.

"I refuse to stay silent anymore, whore." Her eyes, along with Fu's opened wide. Has Naruto fallen into such a darkness?

"W-What did you just call me?" She asked to be sure, and he looked into her eyes.

"W-H-O-R-E whore, or are you the idiot now?" She lightly backed off of him, confused.

"Why are you saying those things Naruto, acting this way. It's not you!"

"You're right, it's Sasuke."

Fu then caught on to what Naruto was doing, and lightly smiled. He had taken her advice after all.

"What, are you saying that you are acting like Sasuke is right now?" She asked, Naruto didn't even move from he had held her fist the last time.

"I am saying...I fucking refuse to carry out my promise to you, if you are so strong. You bring back Sasuke, don't ever rely on me anymore unless I'm god awfully forced to join you in the conquest." Naruto stated, bringing his hand down.

He turned to walk away, "I am done, I've said my peace." Sakura was enraged. She watched as Naruto started to walk away from her, FROM HER! She got out a kunai, and decided to run him down with it. However, Naruto turned around, grabbing her hand.

Fu had even moved fast with her wings, and she was stunned by how fast he was moving. "I also like to say that if you ever decide to pull this stunt again." He squeezed his hand on her wrist, causing the kunai to fall out. She then felt his hand come across her face, hard.

She was sent to the ground by it, and Naruto stood there glaring. "I'll break your fucking hands."

Naruto slowly walked away, before turning back around for one more word.

"Also Sakura, I've became the one to finally fight back. I'm no longer the Naruto that you knew, I am the Naruto who'll fight to save himself...not others unless I really care about them. From now on, I fight for those closes to me...not you, or even the Hokage if she has a problem with what happened here today."

**A week later. **

Fu, and her team was getting ready to ship out tomorrow. Though she knew it had to happen tonight. She heard the Akatsuki had taken the fourth, and fifth tails over the week. Her number was fast approaching, and she had to say her peace now.

Naruto had calmed down, and slowly went back to his normal self over the week. So she stood in front of his door, and began to knock. No sooner than the third knock came, the door opened. "Hello Fu-chan, come to see me before you leave out?" He asked. She nodded.

She walked into the house, and shut the door. "Naruto listen, before I leave I have one question to ask you. Do you think someone out there loves you?" Naruto shook his head, he knew what she meant. He highly doubted it, but then he looked at her. He started putting two, and two together on the question.

"Fu do yo-mmmphhh!" She brought his lips to her own without warning, stealing his first kiss way. He at first wanted to fight, but slowly stood there, letting her kiss him. He had also heard the news about the fourth, and fifth tails.

They finally broke the kiss, "I do Naruto...So I'm sorry if I came on strong just now. I'm not wanting to be alone tonight, at all. Since I heard about the news, and I'm scared." She admitted, Naruto nodded, and took hold of her. She was shaking.

"Fu, listen to me, you don't have to go back to your village. You could stay with me, in asylum to Konoha. I think Shibuki would not mind."

"Well, Naruto, he's my brother. I think he'd mind very much if he knew I'd be staying with a boy I liked."

"Wait, he knows that you like me, how?"

"Well...silly, I told him."

Naruto just made a O face, getting the fact she was his sister. Which meant she told him everything, but the blonde smiled. "I don't care, he'll just have to come and kick my ass then." She nodded, and went back to kissing him.

The kiss led to one of many things this night, it led to them going to his bedroom. It led to them making love for the first time. Both took their virginity away, but in the end. It ended up being the just the to of them, holding each other in bed. Kissing.

Finally they went to sleep, and as they started to fall sleep. Naruto decided to answer a question, previously just asked. "I do think you love me, but...it's not because of what you did." She snuggled up to his chest, wanting to here his reason.

"You held me when no one else would...you held me in my anguish."

_**End.**_

_**A promised one shot to the Omake of Guide me O' Light of gods story.**_


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